Specific details available on request.

BTW. It's a she. Or an it. But not a he.

Specific details available on request.

I request specific details to be made available. Mainly, why?

Buy a one-way ticket to Swindon or ask her out on a date.

What am I supposed to do with this ticket?

I request specific details to be made available. Mainly, why?

She makes my life, and those of others in this office, hell. It's bad...

Oh, no, wait. Then it will be you who'll be murdered.

Buy a one-way ticket to Swindon or ask her out on a date.

What am I supposed to do with this ticket?

Give it to her!

Buy a one-way ticket to Swindon or ask her out on a date.

What am I supposed to do with this ticket?

Give it to her!

How do I persuade her to use it?

TONY! TONY BLAIR! COME HERE A MINUTE!! I NEED YOU A SEC...

More political satire. I'm great.

MuahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

1) Some stout metal pipe
2) heavy duty plug (fits firmly in end of pipe)
3) Some fireworks, or any other source of black powder
4) Some sodium (pure) or potassium
5) Wadding
6) Match or other ignition source

Mould 4) into small balls, ~2-4mm diameter.
Plug 1 end of pipe with 2).
drill small hole in plug
fill pipe with contents of 3) making sure some fills the hole.
top up with balls of 4)
add 5) to keep everything in place

aim at boss
apply 6) to hole in 2)

Of course, you may want to do the last step by remote

Look, I'm in a bad mood and I need gratuitous violence, death, destruction, and dastardly deeds...

Let's see... female boss, murder of...

1. If you have some kind of board-meeting (Probably bored-meeting) thing where at some point she writes on a whiteboard, then you do the following:

A) Fill the board marker with explosives
B) Apply a large static charge to the whiteboard

Thus, when the said boss touches the board with the pen, a spark will ignite the explosives and remove most of the room

2. If you happen to know anyone entering Robot Wars (Or who happens to have a killer robot on their garage), do the following:

A) Fit a TV camera to the robot
B) Park an unmarked van outside the office
C) Go on a killing spree, controling the robot from the van

A bullet-proof robot is likely to be best, with your own choice of weapons ranging from flamethrowers to hydrolic pincers. You could even mount a couple of nailguns to ward off the police.

3. If you happen to live near some scientific research place, then do the following:

A) Break in and steal a linear particle accelerator and a fusion reactor. Whether they work perfectly doesn't really matter, but they must be quite small (i.e. large enough to get out of the door)
B) Fix them together as follows:

/-\-------
|*O
\-/-------
^^ ^
|| Particle accelerator
|Opening
Fusion reactor

Such that a ball of plasma can be built up inside the fusion reactor. You would then turn on the particle accelerator, and the plasma will be accelerated (Through what is essentially a rail gun), to near the speed of light. Anyone with any knowledge of physics will know that railguns and superheated plasma are very dangerous, so if you combine the two....
C) You have yourself a plasma cannon
D) Somehow get it to the office (Probably have it mounted in a big lorry due to the power requirements), aim it in the general direction of the boss, and fire.

4. Already mentioned as a way of disposing of Microsoft, pump high explosives into the sewers.

5. Make her a nice mug of acid.

6. Make a large tube, which is opened at one end. At the end with the opening, there should be rows of poisonous spikes, which are hinged so that they can open/close to pierce whatever is in the way. You also attach a trigger near the end of the tube, so that once someones arm is inside the tube they must continously squeeze the trigger to stop the lethal injection. Fitting two of these and finding how long she lasts should be quite gratifying

7. Build your own sentry gun:

A) Get a machine gun mounted on a tripod
B) Attach a couple of motors
C) Stick an infrared camera on top
D) Write the control software so that any moving heat source will get shot (Powered by a RISC OS computer, of course)
E) Sit it inside her office. Offices with glass walls or some other way of seeing in would be best.

Gee, what's that gun doing in there mounted on a tripod?

*opens door*

*RATATATATATATAT*

8. Rip up the floor in the office, and lay a load of bear traps. Then cover the floor with some thin floor substitute, so that it is flexible enough to trigger the bear traps and for the bear traps to close on your boss's foot.

9. DIY flamethrower:

A) Get a super soaker (Big compressed air powered water pistol)
B) Build a replacement nozzle with using metal pipe, complete with safety valve and lighter holder
C) Fill the water tank with lighter fluid, or some other suitably flammable liquid
D) Put it all in a rather smart breifcase
E) Calmly walk into work and enter your bos's office.
F) Open the briefcase and take out the water pistol (The boss should now be curious)
G) Unscrew the plastic nozzle and replace with your flamethrower one (Boss should now be slightly suspicious)
H) Take out a lighter, light it, and stick it in the holder (Boss should now be rather worried. Make sure you block off the door to stop escape)
I) Pump some air into it a few times, and watch the boss squirm
J) Take aim and let loose the flames

10. Knock her unconsious, and take her to the island in The Prisoner. Keep her captive there for as long as you like. (Of course, you'll have to build the island first).

Obviously some of those are a few more practical then others, especially if you don't hold a grudge against any of your other workmates.